Ruffviews by Cooper & Crosby

keeponsinging:

Cooper and Crosby not only have awesome owners, but they will likely combine their adorableness with hilarity on a daily basis.

Hampton and Hudson, it’s your turn.  Maybe start with a Twitter, like the Bronx Zoo Cobra.

COOPER: Hey, Crosby, look! We got our first fan post. You think this is the girl they’ve mentioned while using the word, “awesome”? Crosby? Cros—?

*lights flashing*

CROSBY: What? I’m working on my new headshots with this photographer, Annie Leibovitz. Her rate was so reasonable!

CROSBY: Cooper seems to think that I’m not smart enough to do a review on my own so this will show him. Not only am I going to do this all by myself, but I’m going to review this book right here. Nothing says “smart” like literature.

CROSBY: Yes, mmm hmmm….My professional opinion is that this book is delicious. At first it has an oak-y flavor which tempers nicely on the palate. And while at times it seems like it could use a bit more seasoning, it’s very clearly made of high-quality pulp and is infused with a smoky ink. The effort that went into this paperback makes it a real page-turner. Look, I’m chewing on the next page already!

SUMMARY

No Room for Squares by Orlando Lima

Cost: $14.50

Claims: “A New American classic that celebrates the power of simplicity.”

Final Notes: Crosby can’t weigh in right now as he’s been given a time-out for ruining a literary work. Not to mention he’s also a little constipated. He did want you to know, however, that he thinks the writer is being too modest, and that “the flavor went well beyond simplicity.”

RATING: 4 Tail Wags out of 5 because it was expensive, but still delicious. Crosby think it’s a real sleeper hit.

CROSBY: Uh…Cooper…don’t go over on that side of the kitchen…

COOPER: Why? What did you—oh man! Not again!

CROSBY: It’s OK. They’ll just use the icky smelling spray and then it’ll be gone.

COOPER: Yeah, but it only smells for a little bit. Then when they wipe it up, you can’t smell anything—except for the stench of your shame. Wear this cone and go stand in that corner over there.

SUMMARY

Dual Action Hard Floor Stain & Odor Removal by Nature’s Miracle

Cost: $14.49 for a 24 oz. bottle at Petco

Claims: 

From the Nature’s Miracle website:

Final Notes: We wanted a spray that was safe for both hardwood and tile. Most sprays we found were only safe for one type of surface. Also, we didn’t want to mask the odor, but rather kill it completely. This did both. While some dogs fetch the newspaper and can sit on command, we are especially blessed in that Crosby has both a bladder problem and an occasional vomit problem so another thing that appealed to us about this spray was that it is designed to take care all sorts of organic bodily fluids, though I shudder to think of what “fats” would expel from a body and need to be cleaned, but I guess it’s good to know this could take care of it if need be.

The only thing we hate is the initial smell. I guess that’s how you know it’s working, but for the first five minutes while it’s soaking into the mess, it has a particularly acrid chemical odor. Then it fades and after it’s wiped up there is no smell at all.

The directions say to soak up excess mess, then spray and leave it to soak for five minutes and then to wipe everything up. It also says there’s no need to rinse. We found that if you don’t rinse, however, it can leave a slight film so I usually like to rinse afterwards.

Also, it’d be great if they could design a better spray bottle. We still have plenty of spray left, but the nozzle isn’t quite catching the fluid so it won’t spray properly. Since it is on the expensive side, we want to be sure and use the entire bottle before buying another.

RATING: 4 Tail Wags out of 5 because that initial smell is incredibly putrid, but we love that it does its job like a rock star.

CROSBY: What. Is. That?

COOPER: It’s a Breathies biscuit, silly.

CROSBY: But it’s so little!

COOPER: So is your brain, but it supposedly still works.

CROSBY: If I was stupid, then I wouldn’t know that that heavenly smell coming from that biscuit is the delightful mix of mint and parsley. Parsley not only aids in canine kidney function, but it also helps neutralize bad breath.

COOPER: Something you are well acquainted with. Here. Eat it.

CROSBY: YUM! I wonder if our poop will be green?

COOPER: Well, as long as we adhere to the guidelines on the bag, which state that we shouldn’t have more than 4 a day, I think we’ll be OK.

CROSBY: *blows in Cooper’s face* Do I have sweet breath?

COOPER: You do! I can’t even smell the poop you ate earlier!

SUMMARY

Breathies Biscuits with Benefits by Dogswell

Cost: $12.99 for a 20 oz. bag

Claims: Fresh Breath and Healthy Teeth

Final Notes: While they were expensive, there are a considerable amount of bite-sized biscuits (each biscuit is about the size of a quarter) in the bag. Both Cooper and Crosby love the taste, and we love that they don’t smell like anything other than natural mint, even though they’re made with “real chicken.” Often we find that treats have either a very heavy meat smell or a fishy smell.

In reading the ingredients on the back, we were very happy to see that the treats have no corn, flour, added salt, byproducts, etc. We also loved that we could pronounce all of the ingredients, and we’re impressed that they added Vitamin E, which supposedly helps promote circulation and boost their immune system. The only thing we’re unsure of is why they felt the need to add chlorophyll, though another popular dog breath treat, Greenies, also uses it.

Even though they’re made with peppermint and parsley, don’t expect your dog’s breath to be minty. They don’t mask their breath with a fake mint scent. Crosby was correct in that they actually do neutralize odors. Cooper was right in that Crosby has some foul breath due largely to what we call his “Death Burps.” These biscuits seem to be taking care of that for us.

Since we only bought them yesterday, we can’t comment yet on their dental benefits.

RATING: 4.5 Tail Wags out of 5 because while the price and size of the individual biscuits may be a deterrent, it’s worth it to be able to get dog kisses without needing a face mask or a hazmat suit.

COOPER: We have to get to work. We have new toys to review.

CROSBY: But look how cute I am going to be in this photo!

COOPER: Crosby, FOCUS! I’ll take the dragon. You take the apple.

CROSBY: Cooper, can I get peanut butter with this apple?

COOPER: It’s not real! Just play with it. You can throw it around and wrestle. It even has a squeaker. That’s how you know you’ve won—when you hear the squeaker.

CROSBY: OooOOOh! Does the dragon have a squeaker too?

COOPER: Yes, listen. *Squeezes the dragon* Only it doesn’t sound like a regular squeaker. It sounds more like a duck whistle.

CROSBY: Ducks can whistle? They’re so talented! And pretty. Hey! The apple makes a noise like your dragon, too. Only the apple’s noise is shorter and a little harder to hear. Does this mean I won, Cooper?

COOPER: Yes, that means you beat the apple, and I slayed the dragon!

SUMMARY

Plush Dragon by Go Dog - Bought at Petco

Cost: $16*

Claims: The tag on the dragon claimed that it was especially tough.

Condition after one day of consistent playing:

Final Notes: Since Cooper is an 8-pound Yorkshire terrier, it’s especially sad that their claims of durability were unfounded since he was able to make holes in it within a day. Despite this, he still loves playing and snuggling with it. In fact, he’s sleeping on the dragon right now. It’s incredibly soft and it doesn’t look as cheap as some plush dog toys. And, bonus: the duck whistle sounding squeaker is not annoying. Size-wise, it’s incredibly portable and seems to be the perfect size for him.

RATING: 3 Tail Wags out of 5 because given the price, it’s just sad that Cooper was able to make a hole in the dragon. But, what’s working in its favor is that there’s no sign of stuffing, yet, which solidifies its transfer from the dog toy bin to the garbage bin.

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Plush Apple by Petco - Bought at Petco

Cost: $9*

Claims: None. Also, it’s important to note that the line of plush veggies and fruits is relatively new and may not be available at all Petco stores. Cannot be found on Petco site.

Condition after one day of consistent playing:

Final Notes: Crosby doesn’t usually enjoy playing with toys, but this one he started gnawing on and cuddling with (it’s a love/hate relationship) almost immediately. It’s a little too big and round for him to rest his head on, but it’s incredibly easy for him to carry it around—usually by the arm. It’s unclear as to why there is cellophane poking out of one the holes he made as plush toys usually have fluff stuffing inside, but it’s almost better in that we’re not finding fluff tumbleweeds everywhere. Of course, it does concern us that Crosby is going to be able to pull and swallow cellophane out so we will keep a close eye on the Apple’s tushy.

RATING: 2 Tail Wags out of 5 because even though Crosby loved it, we’re unsure of how much longer he’ll be able to play with it before it’s entirely destroyed. Also, we think it’s so cute because it’s an Apple**, instead of an animal.

*We think the price was so much more than on the website because of the Petco location. Boo to Manhattan prices!

**It could totally be a tomato. The tag didn’t say exactly what it was, and the other toys in the line seemed to all be vegetables. Either way, it’s super cute.